Your Ultimate List of Excuses To Bail
Need an excuse to bail? Cancel your plans and simply chill. We've got your back.
It happens to everyone--you overcommit and say you’d attend this social get-together or that party or this date. And on the day of the thing you promised you’d go to, there is just no peeling you away from the comforts of your bed or the couch.
Of course, the intention to show up is there, but the spirit and the will to leave the couch is low. You’d rather lounge in your most comfortable sweatpants, pour yourself some wine, and stay in for the night. Your activity of choice: binge-watching all the Big Bang Theory episodes on Netflix.
Now, if you ask us, that sounds like a pretty good excuse. However, your friends and the people you’ve made plans with might not be as understanding. So to get you out of your commitments, we have a list of excuses that you can give them.
It’s okay to be a misfit and bail on your family and friends--everybody does it. The secret is just in the white lie you tell them.
So, get ready to stay in and chill--complete with the knowledge that you will still have your social life once you are done with your Netflix binge. Here are some creative ideas that sound plausible--enough to trick your friends into believing that you really can’t show up to the gathering, or event, or what-have-you.
“I’m standing in a pool of vomit--I don’t think I can make it.”
The quickest way to get out of a commitment--food poisoning. Nobody wants to hear all the gory details about how you’re upchucking all of last night’s dinner.
“I’m having explosive diarrhea!”
Again, nobody needs to know more details about your activities in the bathroom.
“I’m nursing a hangover.”
Not only will this excuse make you sound like a fun person, but you can even have an excuse not to divulge too much information. You are nursing a fictitious headache, after all. The least that your friends can do is to get out of your way so you can “nap some more.”
“My boss needs me to clock in extra hours.”
Yes, that’s right, divert the blame to someone else. A classic scapegoat: your boss that everybody knows overworks you.
“I’m doing cardio in the morning.”
Convince everyone that you’ve taken a new leaf and you’re finally taking your morning runs more seriously.
“I'm so broke."
Ok, there may be more truth to this than you care to admit--but hey, if it gets you out of that dreaded party, right?
“I put in too many reps at the gym yesterday.”
Now you can finally get your ROI on that gym membership--not just through muscle gains, but by using it as an accessory to your lie. If your friends are gym-goers too, they’ll understand the morning-after soreness and might even volunteer to drop by and help you out. If they’re not, then they’ll just probably nod and smile. There, crisis averted.
“I lost my wallet.”
You lost the contents of your wallet buying chips and drinks for the weekend more like it, but nobody has to know about that.
“My cat won’t let me go.”
If your friends are cat lovers, then chances are, they’ve fallen victim to those big, kitty eyes too. Of course, this excuse will only hold weight if you do actually own a cat.
“Oh snap--I forgot we were supposed to meet.”
At the expense of sounding like a bad friend, you’ll have the whole night to yourself. Just make sure to apologize properly for this “oversight” next time.
“My mom wants me to drive her to the airport.”
Nobody will argue with your duties as a respectful and loving son or daughter. Chances are, you’ll simply get an “aww, have fun with your mom,” as a response.
“My car sounds funny.”
Faking car problems can be pretty convincing too!
“I have to help my friend out--she’s going through a rough patch.”
Sometimes, you just have to put in your solemn face and tell a little white lie. This perfect excuse will be sure to get you out of that dreaded brunch in no time. Just make sure that your friend remains a fictitious character so your friends will not start snooping.
Plus, you know what’s iron-clad about this excuse? You don’t have to make anything else up about this fictional friend. Most people will understand the discretion required in handling situations such as this--hopefully, they won’t press you for more details.
“I cut my thumb while opening a jar of peanut butter.”
First of all--how? Second of all, just make sure that you back this up with a funny story the next time you plan to meet with your friends.
“There is an Uber surge.”
Hands down, probably the best excuse on this list. Everybody hates these crazy price surges, after all.
“I’m waiting for a package.”
Even fictitious packages can be exciting to wait for--when you’re at the last few minutes of watching that Jessica Jones episode.
“I’ve had a heavy dinner.”
Tell them you can’t move after you’ve just stuffed yourself with dinner and dessert.
“I can’t find my keys.”
It’s a plausible plan. You just pretend you lost your keys, and found them the morning after--right after you have finished all the Holiday movies on Netflix.
“I just ordered pizza. I need to wait for it.”
You know what--make the excuse a reality too. That pizza will go well with that last episode of Peaky Blinders.
“I can’t find my socks.”
Well, there you have it--no socks, no night-out.